How would I be defined?/A bird of a different feather.

This morning I was reading an article about a small North Carolina town. The article was about summertime without air conditioning and the time period was from the late 50's to mid 60's. This line showed me what a sad state I am in. "Mama and her neighbors had their housework done by the afternoon and visited one another over iced tea." When I read that I got a tinge of jealousy. Them all sweaty, no air conditioned women had other women to hang with during the day. Darn heifers.

I am one of few stay at home moms in my neighborhood. I don't entertain myself with drinking and night club dancing. I am also not ultra pious and do not flaunt my Christianity and use it to social climb. I have a strange love for SciFi movies and tv shows. I talk rough and like to set up my target in the back yard for shooting practice with my compound bow, but I don't hunt. Also I spank my kids. I am not scandalous enough for some, I do not reference enough geeky culture in my speech, or play nerdy souped up versions of chess for others, not hyper spiritual, not redneck enough for a few and not well mannered for most. So? What in the crap am I? Who can I spend time with? Where is the nice womanly niche for me to fill in?

So because I am a true adult and know that I should put all things in my life to prayer I of course asked the Google. I know Lord I need to talk with you and listen to what you say before I jump but I didn't have my coffee yet and my brain just wasn't functioning right. So are we good? Okay.

So I asked The Google to show me a stay at home mom. One of the images shown was Rosie the Riveter holding a baby. Apparently Google didn't know she worked. I guess it was to show moms can do everything but it still wasn't what I was looking for.

Next just to see what would pop up I searched for images of working moms and this photo of Val Kilmer for the movie Willow popped up. I guess The Google wasn't following gender lines on that one. It also showed some pictures of Elvira. Of course Elvira and the movie Willow touched on my nerdy side (plus remember in Willow when Val was talking about how he would make a great mother?).

So I searched geek mom on The Google and this awesome photo came up. I do love me some Star Wars, Dr. Who, Star Trek, Firefly but I hated the new Battlestar Galatica and I don't like the image of a PC there. So I guess I am kinda geeky but not a full on bona-fide geek mom. Also why do geeks completely dismiss Barbarella? I liked that movie.
Next I searched The Google for Christian mom and this one popped up. I don't fully identify with this type of Christian mom. I feel more that I am a mother who is also a Christian. My faith is peppered in everything I do but it is not the main color that I paint with. Faith is interwoven into our lives with all the other characteristics that we have and it effects each characteristic. I am not comfortable coming at a person so strongly and heavily with my faith that it is scary overwhelming. It is not hidden but it isn't flashing in bright neon lights either. Maybe in time as God and I work on my flaws it will be more evident but for now that hyper super Christian mom is not me.
So in an act of true disappointment, because well every one knows that The Google doesn't function very well as a Magic 8 Ball, I looked for a chicken mom. Most images where of chicken recipes but this little gem popped up and it tickled my demented side.

I still feel like I don't fit in anywhere and I have tried. I have tried to get along with super moms but felt very inadequate in their presence. Plus I really do think some of them "do all" moms are on drugs. There is no way a human being can run the PTA, keep their home spotless, cook extravagant and healthy meals everyday, shuttle their kids all over creation, wear snappy outfits and be part of the Ladies Jr. League without some mother's little helper. Those absolutely perfect women will be a top a tower with a high powered machine gone one day. Mark my words.

I have tried the party moms and the loving mother/frat house boy personality kinds creeps me out. I have tried the super Christian moms but I felt extremely uncomfortable. I don't know for sure what it is but a whole group of them makes me queasy. They aren't bad people but it just doesn't sit right with me. I can not find other geek moms. I guess not to many geek girls become geek moms. I have tried intellectual moms and felt dumb. I have tried to spend time with working moms but those guys are so ran ragged I feel bad interrupting their rare downtime. A few stay at home moms I know are either crazy or loaded down with toddlers and babies. I like toddlers and babies but that mom is very scatter brained and few can navigate the diaper clad jungle and still carry on full coherent sentences. I understand that stage of motherhood but since I was able to finally run away from that I kinda don't like visiting it. Lets face it. If the kid is still in a diaper or eats dirt and they aren't a niece or nephew I ain't going anywhere near it. Also I am not the shopping mom, the gym mom, the organic hippie mom or the sports mom. I am not the PTA mom, the artsy mom or the everybody else's mom. Also I am not a dog mom. I really don't get the whole dog mom thing.

I don't know what I am and in the end only my children will define what kind of mom I am. For now I will do the best I can, and still make small fleeting attempts at companionship with women I have no understanding for.

Crap! It feels like high school again.