That is how I got SUPERPOWERS!

Today I was chit chatting with my sister on Facebook (because we are so high school) and I dropped this one. "I'm on my fifth cup of coffee and when the caffeine levels get that high I can't eat. So today's lunch is Dunkin Dougnuts coffee with French Vanilla creamer followed by an awesome dessert of uncontrollable handshakes! Because I'm healthy and crap like that." She then lovingly pulled a cyber Memaw on me and informed me of my bad health decision. Touche' Jocelyn Touche'.

Yeah, so five cups of coffee isn't the greatest thing for me but sometimes I have to do something bad. (or else I could go crazy) Normally my regular coffee intake is two mugs and when I feel adventurous I double to four. Four is my mother's helper when I need some extra oomph for the day. I zip around my chores and errands and sometimes I do a few miles on my bike to insure I sleep well that day. Oh, but today I forged passed my boundaries and broke the sound barrier with a FIFTH cup!

Cup number five. Cinco. And it was good. I could see colors. I could hear the buzz of flies from outside and my kids' bathroom was spotless in a matter of minutes. The girls came home from school and I had a million questions for them. I made dinner, fed the neighbor's kid and cleaned the kitchen. Finished the end of year teacher's gifts (also for the neighbor's kid). Cleaned the fridge, mended the four inch tear in my comforter, washed the sheets, cleaned out the kids craft cabinet, and redid the summer calendar (originally that took me three days). And. I. Could. Save. The. World!

Until I disastrously crashed from my insane caffeine high. You could hear the roaring screeching sound as my over taxed body slammed back into Mother Earth. My poor lovely daughters. They suffered the worst.

They were watching a Mr. Bean episode and they could not understand it. Mr. Bean's tv wasn't working and he kept running around his apartment with an odd looking tree of wires on a stick. They had no idea was that small wire tree was. Why didn't his cable or satellite work? They had so many questions and I was spent. I didn't answer them. They had a long discussion about that wire tree. I just laid on the couch and drooled. They then performed their bedtime ritual and went off to slumber land perplexed.

So no more five cups of coffee. It may make me a SUPREME HOUSEKEEPING GODDESS but a pretty crappy mom. Oh well.